Dear Krauthammer: I Think the Car Warranties Would Be the Least Shocking Thing for Madison

Charles Krauthammer wrote that he believes after explaining to James Madison what a car is, he would be shocked how the Constitution would allow Obama to unilaterally decide to guarantee car warranties. Really, Mr. Krauthammer? You think of everything that the Constitution has allowed to happen in the past 100 years, it would be the car warranty incident which James Madison would notice?

I think he would probably be more shocked to learn that the Constitution allowed a negro to be president, a woman to be speaker of the house, and a heretic to become senate majority leader. He would be disappointed to discover that the senate rule of unlimited debate has become some twisted tool to force all bills to pass by a 3/5 supermajority. He would be amazed that the Constitution protected the right of “coloreds” to marry whites and made being gay legal. He would be unable to believe that the Constitution now protects the right of people to make hardcore-tranny-bondage-orgy porn. The fact that only 4% of people are farmers would completely freak him out.

He would be shocked that there is a federal income tax and even more perplexed that we have signed treaties stopping us from using tariffs. I can't even imagine how he would feel about how the government has spent billions to make cannabis illegal, given that he wrote the Constitution on hemp paper and George Washington grew it. I don't think he would be happy that while fighting two overseas wars, we decided to cut taxes. Nor do I think he would like it that we have 1% of all Americans locked up in prison. Having the most expensive standing army on earth would probably scare him.

I love our Constitution and our founding fathers. I think George Washington will go down as the most morally important man in history, and I think our founding fathers were the among the most enlightened men of their time. But they were still men of their time. The Constitution is not and never was prefect. It protected slavery and allowed denying women the right to vote. It is just foolish to complain about current policy positions because you think an 18th century plantation owner who wrote a constitution for a small agrarian society would be against it.